2012: Apocalypse of DOOM!
by qhckaloyhzcxtmb
Summary: America decides to ask the other nations their view on December 21, 2012 and how they will spend their last day.


Testing, testing... England's a fucktard, heheheh~

Oh crap, this is _on_?

-ahem-

Hello, world! It's me, the awesome nation of America! Wait, it'd actually be people of the world, because if you really_ were_ the world, then-

Never mind. This is America reporting from the UN Headquarters. Did I mention America is the greatest country in the world? _(Cue background chorus of 'U-S-A! U-S-A!')_

-laughs- Thank you, thank you.

Now, you may be asking yourself, 'But America, why are you dressed in a fancy suit? I mean, sure, you look incredibly sexy and badass, but you're not one to wear suits.' Obviously, I can't hear you or know what you said, but I'm going to pretend you actually asked that and answer this anyway.

A topic being discussed a lot lately is the infamous 2012 DOOOOOOM DATE! _(Clap of thunder; lightning flashes.) _With only 703 days left until we die, it's no surprise thousands- no, _millions_- are already scrambling for what little they can manage to stock up on when the apocalypse rolls around. I, for one, welcome our new alien apocalypse overlords. I mean, sure, a lot of people are going to die and shit, but we get some motherfucking ALIEN RULERS in return! And explosions! And tsunamis and hurricanes! Oh man, it'll be like a Michael Bay film, just in real life! Hell yeah!

But that's just my opinion (the most important one of all, too). However, I'm going to go ask the other nations what _they're _doing for the upcoming end-of-world. Hey, there's England!

-runs towards the bewildered nation and stuffs microphone in front of face-

England, England! What are you doing on December 21, 2012- the date the great ancient Mazdas predicted the world would end?

England: I think you mean Mayans...

Yeah yeah, Mayans, Schmayans; I know what I said! Just answer the question, dammit.

England: Well, for one, your facts are off. They didn't necessarily predict the world ended there; their calendar runs out that day, making others believe that is when the world ends.

So you're saying the Mayans were some lazy assholes who decided that damn it, they made enough calendar dates and could stop randomly because they wouldn't live to see the date anyway?

England: _(flustered)_ No, I-!

Tsk, tsk. I really thought you'd be nicer to the Indians than this, Iggy. Oh well, if you die, what's the worst that can happen? Your horrible food will be forever gone.

England: ….

Let's go ask France now! -leaves dumfounded England for France, who casually leans against a staircase-

France! How do you intend to spend _your_ last day, which is December 21, 2012?

France: _(chuckles softly) Mon ami, _I do not believe the world will end that day.

But HOW? The ancient Mazamas were the Einsteins of their time! Surely, you must think there's some truth to that.

France: I have already gone through this before, you see. I embarrassed myself as the world did not end. I shall not make the same mistake again. However, when the world _does _end, I intend to sweetly make love to the world's most beautiful men and women.

As it ends?

France: _(grins)_

So you aim to go bang some chicks and dudes...

France: Well, when you put it that way-

THAT IS EITHER COMPLETELY SWEET OR COMPLETELY GROSS. Thanks for sharing, anyway! -dirty look at England-

England: What?

France: No problem, America.

I don't think anyone will be able to top that answer, France. But the show must go on. Let's go ask Russia -this time, America slowly approaches him-

Russia, mah man! What will you do when the world ends on December 21, 2012?

Russia: _(lips start to slowly quiver and form a childish smile) _Oh, but the world won't end that way. _(A mysterious darkness spreads across Russia's face, though he is right under a bright light. His eyes seem to flash with violet lightning and his grin becomes menacing) _

-getting nervous- Um, so what makes you say that?

Russia: The world ends when _I _say so.

-talking extremely fast- 'mmovingonbye! -runs to nearest person he sees, which happens to be Canada-

-panting- C-C-Canada, brother! What... are... you... doing when... the world ends? -weakly puts microphone near his mouth-

Canada: Um, well, I don't really think the world will end that day.

WHY DOES NO ONE BELIEVE?

Canada: _(blinks) _Okay, well, if the world did end that day, I guess I'd spend it with Komiju.

Kumajirou: _(shakes head)_

Canada: And I'd drink and eat a lot of maple syrup. Maybe I'd also-

-unimpressed- Awesome yeah, thanks for sharing. I'm going to ask China now, later! -leaves-

Canada: But... _(America is too far away for him to hear)_

Hey, China! What are you doing the day the world ends?

China: Oh! I'm already getting ready for it, aru!

Finally, another believ-

China: I'm making 2012 shirts that say 'I Survived' (if any do); 2012 keychains with a little building being tore down by a really cute and big panda; 2012 dolls that explode when you pull the string in the back for a quick, easier death, 2012-

-sigh- You're _marketing_ 2012?

China: _(unaware of how bad that may be)_ Why not, aru?

Great. -mopes and walks slowly away, dejected- No one else believes the world is ending.

Sealand: _(overheard)_ Wah! The world is ending? I'm too young and cute!

England: Hey! What the fuck are you doing here, Sealand?

Sealand: I-

_(England promptly goes to escort a flailing and screaming Sealand out)_

-heavy, dramatic sigh- Well I guess that's it, folks. I'd say what I'd report next time, but unfortunately, we're dying before I can do so. See you never!

* * *

**2012 is causing such a huge commotion in America, I thought it'd be funny to write this- but all in the Hetalia world, of course. I myself disagree with America, but I like France's method of dying ;D**

**Hope you enjoyed, regardless your view on 2012! And as always, reviews are GRR-EAT!**

**~atramentaceous**


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